Are you wondering how to get over a breakup? If so, you’re not alone.
Not every relationship is a success, and most people have experienced a breakup at some point in their lives. While being abandoned by a partner is a heartbreaking experience, deciding that you have to leave a relationship isn’t much easier.
If you feel pressured to “bounce back” and begin dating again, remind yourself that breakups can cause very real psychological distress. While the support of friends and family can help you ease the pain, it’s still important to take time for yourself, especially if you lost a long-term relationship or a marriage.
By getting some distance and perspective from the relationship, you’ll eventually find things become a little easier, giving you the opportunity to look for love again.
Here are some good guidelines to help you through your transition:
- Don’t try to get back together with your ex. If you broke up, there was a reason for it, and trying to date again without correcting the problem will only lead to disaster.
- Be careful if you decide to maintain a friendship with your ex. This works in some cases, but in most, the pain is too much. You could find yourself being tempted to get back together or getting in constant fights. If you do want to be friends, take some time off to let all your feelings cool off.
- You may not keep all the friends you shared together. This is especially true if the breakup is a tumultuous one. Some people will feel compelled to choose a side and may stop associating with you.
- Avoid clinging to the past. Remove any old reminders of the relationship that you don’t need for day to day living. You can keep a few if you still have fond memories of your time together, but make sure you put them away where you won’t see them for a few months. This will help you avoid rubbing salt in old wounds.
- Be willing to rely on others. Your best friends and closest family members provide a valuable support system that can help you through difficult times. Pay attention and make sure you don’t wear any one person out, but do willing to be talk about how you feel.
- Understand that loss is temporary. Even if you’re getting out of a long-term, committed relationship, the breakup doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. You have the chance to find someone special again in the future. Remember that it’s never too late to find your perfect mate.
- Retain your sense of confidence and self worth. Just because you’ve lost a relationship doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthwhile. Be the best person you can and remind yourself that your relationships don’t define you. If you were involved with the other person for a long time, this may require a period of self-discovery, but you’ll feel much better afterward.
- Don’t play the blame game. If your partner was the one who dissolved the relationship, you aren’t to blame. Accept responsibility for any wrongdoing you engaged in, but don’t allow yourself or your ex to make you feel guilty. Don’t get caught up in blaming your ex, either; most breakups happen because two people just aren’t compatible.
- Remember that your ex’s behavior doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you. Partners who are unfaithful are usually doing it because of their own problems, not because of their partner’s behavior or skill in bed. If your ex misbehaved in the relationship, that doesn’t reflect your worth as a human being.
- Be willing to learn from the relationship you lost. Once you have the ability to be objective, think about what went wrong and what could have been done to avoid it. This includes making decisions about who you will date in the future. Your breakup may help you discover behaviors and personality traits you can’t or won’t co-exist with.
- Avoid starting a new relationship shortly after your breakup. While it’s a good idea to be willing to socialize, dating right away usually results in rebounding, which can be a mistake and even more damaging.
Overall, while time will heal the wounds caused by your divorce or breakup, working to take care of yourself will help it happen faster. If you’ve been wondering how to get over a breakup, just take things one day at a time. Eventually, you’ll become stronger, happier and feel like yourself again.