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Senior Dating – Before You Get Started

Dating can be a little intimidating at every age, but it has some special challenges when you’re over 50. Dating for seniors doesn’t have to be difficult, however.

You just need to take some time to consider what you’re looking for in a new relationship. Here are a few things to think about before stepping back into the senior dating pool.

Consider Your Reasons for Dating
When you’re dating later in your life it’s usually for different reasons than dating among people in their 20s and 30s. Seniors have usually already been married and started a family. While some are interested in finding a new long-term partner, many people over 50 are looking for less-formal arrangements.

It’s a good idea to take a little bit of time to think about why you’re dating. Make sure that your potential partner is looking for the same thing in a relationship to prevent misunderstandings later on.

Be True to Yourself
When you first enter the mature dating scene, other people might object. This problem is especially common among seniors who have adult children that can’t cope with the idea that parents can date (read: Meeting Your Date’s Adult Children).

Don’t let pressure from family members or friends keep you from going out and meeting new people. No one should have to be lonely just because they’re over 50. Your loved ones might be surprised at first, but they’ll soon become more supportive.

senior dating


Decide What You Want in a Partner
Younger people often focus on looks, income or other superficial factors when they look for a new relationship. Most people over the age of 50 have gained the perspective to avoid being distracted by these things.

They still need to take a little time to think about what they want in a new relationship, however.

The traits that interested you when you first got married might not be what you’re looking for now. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and see different kinds of people. Dating for seniors opens up a whole range of new experiences, after all.

Trust Your Instincts
The over 50 dating scene isn’t immune to scams and dishonest people. Meet new people in a public space, especially if you first encountered one another online. Be willing to take things slowly and let the relationship develop at its own speed.

Keep an eye out for unusual behaviors, and always trust your instincts. If something doesn’t seem quite right, you might need to reassess the relationship.

Look for Partners in Appropriate Places
The bar scene may be a staple of conventional dating, but it rarely offers seniors many opportunities. That doesn’t mean you have to be restricted to looking for partners at your local assisted living community, though many have fun programs that make it easy to meet people.

Church and temple functions are another traditional option for people who have a strong connection to their religions.

You can expand your dating search outside these standard areas, however. Check out hobbyist clubs, continuing education classes, ballroom dance events and other fun social occasions. They’ll help you find exciting people in your age group who share your interests.

Don’t forget to look online, too; the Internet opens up the dating pool significantly (read: Mature Dating and the Internet). You could meet someone in your own backyard.

Senior dating can be a rich, rewarding experience, whether you’re looking for a long-term mate or just someone to have a good time with. If you’re willing to analyze your wants, needs and situation before you jump in, you have much better chances of success.

So, think about what you want out of an over-50 relationship, then meet someone special.



Best Dating Sites

Online dating sites have moved from a niche position to become the primary way many people find that special someone. There are now many different specialized sites offering users the ability to meet people in their own age groups who share their hobbies and interests.

Here’s a look at some of the best dating sites for seniors.

SENIOR-SPECIFIC DATING SITES

  • 50YearsPlus.com – This site describes itself as “a singles site for seniors with integrity.” It does require paid membership, but you can check it out for a week-long free trial period to see if it’s the right place for you.
  • Dating For Seniors – This website offers opportunities to find long-term relationships, as well as friends and casual dates. You can get a free basic membership to access the site and see who’s available, but you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership if you want to use all the services this dating site offers.
  • SilverSingles.com – SilverSingles.com has been around since 2002 (formerly known as PrimeSingles.net) and boasts thousands of 50 and over mature singles as its members. This is a safe, clean site that brings together mature singles for friendship, dating, and marriage. Features include photo galleries, private mailboxes, public forums, chat rooms and instant messaging. It’s simple to use and navigate.
  • Real Mature Singles – Targeted at members aged 40 and over, this site takes the time to check up on all applicants. That means you can be sure that you’re talking to a real person, not a scammer.
  • SeniorFriendFinder – Designed specifically for single people over the age of 40, Senior Friend Finder provides free profiles and many different ways to communicate. If you have a paid subscription, you can even send a video message. At almost half a million members, this site provides you with a lot of options.
  • SeniorMatch.com – Senior Match advertises itself as a site only for singles over age 50. As one of the largest sites targeted to seniors, it maintains a minimum age requirement.
  • Senior Passions – This dating site bills itself as a free social network and dating site. It’s targeted at people who are looking for friends, companions or long-term relationships.
  • Your Senior Dating Site – A straightforward site that promises no advertisements, personalized service and an easy to use interface. It’s free to sign up and browse the listings. If you want to contact someone you’re interested in, however, you’ll need to purchase a membership.
  • Gracefully Single – Gracefully Single is a dedicated UK based mature dating site aimed at singles over 50. Boasting over 800,000 UK members, Gracefully Single is free to join although free accounts have limits on messages and photo uploads. Paid memberships are available with unlimited messaging and photos.
  • Mature G’day – Mature G’day is a senior dating site from popular Australian dating brand Just Say G’day. Founded in 2012, Just Say G’day is a paid membership site which is a member of the Online Dating Association.

best dating sites


GENERAL AUDIENCE DATING SITES
While dating sites meant just for seniors are often the best place to start looking, they can have relatively small memberships. This sometimes makes it hard to find someone compatible with your interests and preferences.

General sites provide a larger user database and usually allow you to specify a desired age range to narrow things down.

  • Chemistry.com – This Match.com subsite offers a range of computerized matching techniques to connect you to the perfect date.
  • eHarmony – This dating site provides a more pro-active option for people who aren’t comfortable browsing the user database on their own. eHarmony asks you questions about your personality and preferences, then provides you with possible mates based on a complex formula.
  • be2.com – With over 30 million members worldwide, be2 is one of the world’s leading matchmaking websites. 20,000 new members join every day. Using psychological and sociological criteria based on scientific personality tests, be2 specializes in helping people find fulfilling and long lasting relationships.
  • GayDating.com – This site can be a big help if you’re frustrated by the standard dating site’s assumption that you’re straight. Gay Dating is one of the largest gay-only dating sites and is backed by Matchmaker.com.
  • Great Expectations – GE is a localized service that combines online dating and matchmaking services. It’s available in about 50 U.S. cities and screens each applicant in an in person interview. It also provides face-to-face events for meeting new people.
  • Lavalife – LavaLife allows you to vary your dating search depending on the kind of relationship you want. You can select from intimate encounters, dates or relationships. It’s even possible to create a separate profile for each type of search.
  • Match.com – A popular, well-established dating service with an enormous database of potential dates. Browsing Match.com is free, but you can’t contact anyone until you upgrade to a paid membership.
  • Matchmaker – Matchmaker offers free matchmaking services that help you narrow down the pool of potential dates. The site does require a paid membership to make contact, however.
  • Perfectmatch.com – This site’s compatibility system allows you to avoid spending a lot of time on your search. When a potential match is available, you’ll get an email.
  • Plentyoffish.com – Advertised as the dating site for everyone, Plenty of Fish lets you narrow your search down to a specific dating environment. You can choose an age range, religion, and many other demographic factors.
  • SinglesNet – A service that offers a five million member database and free membership, with access to many of the same features found in popular paid dating services.
  • Okcupid – is a new contender in the free dating arena. It has become hugely popular in the relatively short time it’s been around. It’s simple to use and has a large membership.

TIPS FOR USING THE BEST DATING SITES
Once you’ve found the perfect place to begin your search, you’ll need to think about how to navigate it. While online dating can seem a little intimidating at first, building your profile and contacting someone for the first time is actually very easy.

Here are some things you should know.

  • Choose a creative name that reflects your personality, but don’t give away any personal information.
  • Describe yourself clearly but honestly in your profile. When in doubt, keep things short and sweet. Double-check your profile for potential spelling and grammar problems.
  • Include a photo, but make sure it’s a recent one. Pick the best quality snapshot or studio photo you have. If no one has taken your picture recently, have a friend take one just for the site.
  • Take precautions about your personal information. Don’t include your full name, contact information or any other personal data in your profile.
  • Don’t be afraid to contact other people. Waiting for a message can be boring and frustrating, so send a few short messages of your own.
  • Respond to anyone who contacts you, even if you don’t find that person interesting. Most people would rather be told “no” kindly than ignored.

If you’re ready to check out some of the best dating sites available for seniors, now’s the time to start. You can choose from dating sites aimed at your age group or start out on a general site to get access to more potential partners. No matter which you choose, put your profile together carefully and don’t forget to have fun!

4 Essential Mature Online Dating Tips

Online Dating is quickly becoming one of the best ways for mature daters to find love. It’s convenient, confidential and gives you the chance to meet people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise. Online Dating shouldn’t be complicated or confusing. Use our tips below to get the most our of your online dating experience!

Mature Online Dating Tips

Choose the right online dating site for you. Before you take the plunge and sign up for an online dating site, it’s important to consider which site you’re going to use. Different dating sites cater to different types of people based on their lifestyles or preferences. Other sites do the matching for you, which is great if you trust their system, but not so good if you want a more hands on approach. Do your research, and ask friends and family what sites they might recommend. Plus, don’t forget that you aren’t limited to one site and one site only! Since most allow members to sign up for free, try out a few different online dating sites before you upgrade to the paid option.

Keep an open mind. One of the most exciting things about mature dating is how drastically different the dating landscape is now versus how it was the last time you were single. At the beginning, it can take some adjusting to. While things aren’t going to be the same as they used to be, it’s quite possible that you will like the dating playing field better. Maintaining an open mind is crucial to getting the most out of your online dating experience. Don’t dwell on the past, instead focus on the future with an open mind and heart.

Put effort into your profile. Your online dating profile is the first impression you can make on a potential date, so spend some time perfecting it! Answer the questions honestly and thoughtfully, and inject parts of your personality whenever possible. The goal is to show the world who you are and what you’re about through your profile. When it comes to choosing the right profile photo, select images that honestly reflect what you look like right now. Of course, we’d all love to put up photos from when we were twenty years younger or lighter, but ultimately that will do you more harm than good.  Since you want to go out on real life dates with the people you meet online, it’s best to be honest about your physical appearance from the start.

Speak up. Now that you’ve selected the best site for you and created the perfect profile, some mature daters think all they need to do is sit back, relax and wait for the flood of emails from interested singles to come in. Sure, you could do this…but you might be waiting for a while! With online dating, you sit in the drivers seat. If you come across someone’s profile who looks interesting and attractive, there should be nothing stopping you from sending them a message. Women sometimes feel that they need to wait for a man to make the first move, but with online dating there is no waiting necessary. Most men would be thrilled that a woman took the initiative to say hello. Be an active participant on your online dating site. Reply to messages, send winks or be available to instant message with other members.

Online dating is a rewarding journey. Every single day is exciting simply because you never know who you are going to see when you log on. Above all else, remember one important thing. The more you put into your mature online dating experience, the better your results will be!

Over50sDates.com is a worldwide mature online dating site.


How to Attract Women – the Astonishingly Simple Truth

It’s a fact: no man is born knowing how to attract women. Even the guys who make it seem as natural as breathing have actually spent at least a little time learning to understand how the opposite sex thinks and feels.

They know what women do and don’t want in a partner, and the answers might surprise you. That’s because they’re so simple they seem like they should be obvious.

how to attract women

Things You Don’t Need

The secret to attracting women isn’t a fancy car, a big income, a face like the latest Hollywood heart throb, or even a special trick. It’s not something you get from taking a special class or learning manipulative tricks.

It’s something much simpler: listening to what individual women want instead of lumping them all in together, treating them with genuine respect, and paying attention to the impression you make.

That might seem overly simplistic, but it’s really all that’s required. Here’s how it plays out in everyday life:

Tips for Attracting Women

  • Personal care– Popular culture says that a guy shouldn’t care too much about how he looks, but the truth is a little more complicated. While most women don’t enjoy the company of men who are obsessed about their appearance, they do like it when you put in a little effort.You don’t have to feel overdressed, but you should make a point of being clean, well-groomed and dressed in clothes that are in good condition. Remember where you are, too; jeans and a T-shirt make a bad impression at a fancy restaurant, no matter how comfortable you feel.
  • Desperation – One thing is true whether you’re a man or a woman. No one likes desperation in a date. Even if it’s been a long time since you’ve had a girlfriend or you feel like your date is the one for you, keep a lid on it for now. It’s too easy to let your excitement turn into uncomfortable clinginess that can make your date uncomfortable. Everyone’s a little insecure, but it’s a good idea to keep your insecurity under control to make a good impression.
  • Confidence – A confident person who’s sure of himself is a big turn-on for most women. That doesn’t mean you have to be domineering or pushy, and you certainly shouldn’t brag or seem arrogant. Just think about the things you do well and your good characteristics. It’ll help you exude a natural confidence that doesn’t seem fake or overbearing.
  • Public impressions – Pay attention to your behavior and the way other people see you, especially if you’re on a date. Even if you’re nervous, keep your drinking moderate and your conversation at a reasonable level. Don’t spend all your time talking about yourself. If you feel like you might be too shy or nervous to talk normally, spend a little time practicing on your own until you can get it right. Enlist the help of a female friend or relative to let you know if you’re sending out the wrong signals.

Making It Easier

All these tips are pretty general, which can make it hard to know whether you’re doing things correctly. Fortunately, there are a few extra tricks you can use to make the whole process much less intimidating. There’s no formula for the perfect date, but doing these things might help.

  • Make her laugh – While your date might not be prepared to go out with the class clown, she will enjoy being around someone who’s fun and relaxing to spend time with. You don’t need to prepare a list of jokes or focus on teasing her, but don’t be too formal, either. Remember, laughter is the basis for some of the longest-lasting relationships. Just pay attention to the jokes you tell; if they insult a particular group, it might not be the right time.
  • Get used to a range of social situations – Practicing on your own is a great choice, but it might not prepare you for everything. Get out and spend some time interacting with people in the park or on the street to get used to talking to many different kinds of people. It’ll help you become more comfortable and reduce the risk of seeming fake or insecure.
  • Recognize boundaries – If you’re having a great time with a truly beautiful woman, you might want to see her again right away. This can be a very bad idea, however, especially if it’s a first date. Turn the situation around and look at how you’d feel if a woman you just met suddenly wanted to be around you all the time. You might want to put your date on a pedestal, but for now it’s a good idea to relax, stay casual, and recognize that she may not be ready for something serious.
  • Mind your body language – The way you move sends signals. They’re usually unconscious, but you can control them and change the impression you give. Keeping your shoulders back and your head up looks more confident and friendly than walking with a slouch. Watch how you interact with your date, too; uninvited touching or taking up too much space often comes off as pushy, no matter how you mean it.
  • Be yourself – A lot of people think that showing interest in another person means suppressing their own interests, but this could make you seem boring. Be willing to talk about what you love. It’ll make you feel more relaxed and increase the chance of a good impression. Even if your interests aren’t normally considered fascinating, there’s always someone out there who shares them.

Figuring out how to attract women isn’t a big secret. You just have to stop seeing them as interchangeable or mysterious and start seeing them as people.

Focus on confidence and a genuine impression and you may find yourself having many more successful dates.



How to Be Confident and Feel in Control

Do you feel like you could use a boost in the confidence department? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many people look for help on how to be confident.

If you’re shy or feel that your shortcomings (real or imagined) are visible to everyone or you feel that you are lacking in social graces, confidence can be a real problem. Many people even think that it’s something inborn, like a talent.

The truth, however, is that you can train yourself to become more confident and take control over your life and any given situation. Here are some useful tips.

How to be Confident

Fake It Until You Make It

If you lack self-confidence, there’s a good chance that your body language reveals this fact. Other people can tell if you don’t believe in yourself and they react accordingly. You probably pick up on their lack of trust in your abilities, too.

That makes the situation even worse.

What you may not know, however, is that by faking the body language of a confident person, you can actually boost your own belief in yourself. It may feel wrong or awkward to start with, but it’ll soon become natural.

Take a look at the following behaviors:

POSTURE:

  • Problem – If you don’t feel confident about yourself, there’s a good chance that you’ll carry yourself poorly. Many people with low self confidence bow their heads, round their shoulders, and slouch through life.
  • Solution – If you stand up straight, throw your shoulders back and make eye contact, you’re sending yourself and others signals that you are confident.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS:

  • Problem – If you feel face sliding into a frown, it might be time to change things a little. A sullen or anxious expression communicates discomfort to other people. It also intensifies your own discomfort.
  • Solution – Force your expression into something more pleasant and you could feel a little better, even if nothing really changes. Try smiling even if you don’t feel the emotion to back it up. Believe it or not, just the process of forming a smile on your face can psychologically make you feel better.

SPEAKING HABITS:

  • Problem – Do you find yourself muttering, speaking very quietly, apologizing automatically or putting yourself down? A lot of people with poor self confidence do these things to try and draw attention away from themselves.
  • Solution – Unfortunately, all these behaviors make a person seem timid,  uncertain and even incapable. It may be difficult to make yourself speak up and accept a compliment, but if you put forth the effort, it will pay off in the long run. Try giving somebody else a compliment or a empathetic nod. Also, take notice and copy the body language of the other person. This will create a positive bonding effect.

FIDGETING:

  • Problem – If being around other people or in a public setting makes you nervous, there’s a good chance you have a few fidgety habits. Whether you fiddle with your clothes, bite your lip, tap your foot, or clear your throat, you’re sending clear signs about your confidence. Even a tendency to use the same words over and over could be a verbal fidget.
  • Solution – Suppressing these urges may be tough to accomplish, but many people find themselves feeling calmer once they get rid of their habit(s).


Attend to your Physical Appearance

Some individuals feel they don’t measure up to others when it comes to how people dress.

Your clothes don’t have to be expensive or the latest trendy brands. As long as they are clean and in good shape (no holes, stains, unwrinkled) you will project an attractive appearance. Make sure you are clean and well groomed as well.

Stay Grounded

While imitating the behavior of a more confident person can give you a boost, it usually isn’t enough to conquer a serious problem. It’s also important not to get caught up in unlikely possibilities.

Many people find themselves imagining the worst case scenario when they don’t feel confident. The result is an increase in worry and nervousness.

If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to stop and reorient yourself. Look at the facts and think about what’s actually likely to occur. More often than not,  the potential outcome is not as scary as you first thought.

Come up with a few solid plans to help you deal with the most likely outcomes and stick with them.

If you have a strategy, the chances of feeling more equipped to handle the situation are much better.

Follow Through

A lot of people who lack self confidence have trouble following through on any one thing. The result is a series of abandoned goals and projects with no actual accomplishment.

If you tend to quit something before finishing because you’re afraid of failure, you end up cutting away at your confidence even more.

It can be challenging, but simply making it all the way through to completion can give you something to feel good about. Remind yourself of your success whenever you feel as though your confidence is waning.

Redefining Failure

Successful people know that failure or rejection is just a temporary setback and even can be an educational experience. Sure, they initially feel disappointment, but they learn from the situation and apply their new knowledge to the next time out.

They know success in any endeavor is a percentage game. You may have to fail five, ten or even twenty times before you succeed. It’s just a fact of life.

By looking at failure with this new perspective, you can improve your skills, strategies and techniques and in the process gain a new level of confidence.

Focus on the Positive

Bad things can and do happen, but they probably don’t occur as often as you fear they will. By spending all your time focusing on the problems that might occur, you end up sabotaging your own self-confidence.

Try to focus on the positive aspects of any situation, even if you don’t really believe in them. Simply thinking positively can produce surprising results.

Be selective of incoming news and information regarding the world and your life. Make a choice as to what is helpful and beneficial to you and don’t obsess about the rest.

Hanging out with a positive crowd is a also a good choice, since people with negative attitudes can drag you down.

Practice makes Perfect

Just like learning an instrument or perhaps a new language, by putting in the effort to practice these techniques, you’ll eventually see positive results. If you’ve been wondering how to be confident, start small; you may be surprised by how quickly your faith in yourself grows.



Dating Rules for Women – How to Play the Game Successfully

If you’re ever unsure of how to proceed in a certain situation these dating rules for women may come in handy.

While every person should handle dating in a way that makes them feel comfortable, there are a few guidelines that can boost your success. Taking the time to study these rules gives you a feel for the dating game and lets you decide whether you’re going to follow them, or break them.

dating rules for women

Here’s a look at a few of the most common rules that apply to women looking for men.

  • Look as good as possible, within your income. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to maintain your appearance, but it is a good idea to do what you can. Stop to consider the best way to take care of yourself given your budget and lifestyle, then make sure you do it on a day to day basis. After all, you could meet a potential date just about anywhere.
  • Avoid saying too much. This rule gives you a little bit of personal protection, plus it helps you retain a little bit of mystery, especially when it comes to personal information.
  • Don’t make dates too long. Keeping things brief can be a lot more interesting. Sometimes less is more.
  • Get physical. In addition to keeping yourself looking good through personal care, you should also put in a little time on physical fitness. You don’t need to look like an Olympic athlete, but the effort will keep you feeling healthier, more confident and more attractive.
  • Figure out who’ll pay in advance. Many men still prefer to pay for the date in order to show their interest. If you have a strong interest in covering your own check, let your date know in advance. Haggling over the check never looks good.
  • Avoid pressure to be physically intimate. If all you’re looking for is a casual good time, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you aren’t comfortable with hooking up, however, you should never let your date pressure you. Even if he covered the cost of the date, you don’t owe him anything and should never have sex before you feel ready.
  • Don’t be too early. While keeping someone waiting is rude and inconsiderate, showing up well before your date can be a bad idea, too. It can make you look desperate or demanding. Stick with being on time or only a minute or two late.
  • Avoid seeming over-eager. Even if you’re delighted to hear from your date again, don’t wait by the phone. No one wants to look like they don’t have anything going on. Wait a little while before returning calls or replying to messages to prevent yourself from coming on too strong.
  • Be physically confident. Make sure you know how to kiss and that you feel confident when you do choose to be physically intimate. Forcing your date to do all the work is unappealing.
  • Avoid talking about the past. Even if your exes or family members have been a big feature in your life, talking about them too much can make your date feel uncomfortable. This kind of conversation takes the focus off you as a couple and can derail your evening.
  • Don’t make assumptions. While the way your date dresses and behaves can certainly tell you a few things, it’s not a good idea to make assumptions. Give anyone you date a little while to get to know you and show their real personality.
  • Stand up for yourself. If your date acts possessive, jealous or insecure for no reason, he may not be the right choice for you. Never allow a date’s immature emotional reaction to control your behavior.
  • Be discriminating. Just like you need to take care of yourself, you have the right to ask that your date does the same. If you feel as though you’re seeing someone slovenly who doesn’t really care, you don’t have to stay with him.
  • Avoid desperation or passivity. It may be traditional to wait for your date to become interested in you, but this leads to a lot of lonely nights. Be willing to take the first step, but don’t seem desperate or overly accommodating.

You don’t have to stick with all these guidelines, but they can be a big help. If you’re not sure what to do, you can always refer to these dating rules for women.

Friends with Benefits Dating – The Pros and Cons

In a time when rigid social norms for relationships are breaking down, many people have begun to choose “friends with benefits” relationships instead of something more formal and committed.

For the right person, this kind of interaction can be fun, rewarding and freeing. If both people aren’t on the same page, however, this kind of arrangement can be disastrous.

friends with benefits

If you’re considering entering into a situation like this, make sure you and the other person communicate clearly about the pros, the cons and your personal beliefs.

THE ADVANTAGES

  • Freedom from commitment – One of the most common reasons for two people to get involved as friends is because they’re mutually attracted but don’t want the entanglements that come with a normal relationship. This kind of arrangement lets them have fun in bed while still seeing other people. It’s a common choice for people who aren’t ready for commitment or who have just gotten out of a serious relationship and don’t want the same kind of pressure.
  • Casual convenience – When two friends get together for something informal, they don’t have to go through the same courting dance as two people on a date, or even two friends who are looking for something serious. A situation like this makes it easy to enjoy intimacy with someone you already know well.
  • Comfort – A well-established relationship between friends can stay casual without causing problems. While there may be some emotional connection, it’s usually already well-established, so you don’t have to be concerned about whether the other person likes your company. It can be a welcome alternative to hook-up culture or the dating scene.

THE RISKS

  • Incompatible relationship models – One of the biggest risks of a low-commitment relationship with friends is when your communication goes astray. One person may perceive a bigger degree of involvement with the other, and assume that the relationship is going to become more committed. This leads to hurt and difficulties later on.
  • Jealousy – Most people aren’t equipped to handle jealous feelings responsibly, even if they think they’re immune to them. You may find yourself feeling possessive of your friend and jealous about his or her other partners or dates. If you don’t have this problem, there’s still a risk that you’ll suddenly discover that your friend has become jealous.
  • Loss of friendship – Because many people divide friendship and physical intimacy into two separate categories, you may find that it’s hard to maintain them both. Even if your relationship was originally intended to be casual, you could find things getting more serious than you intended. In the end, this may end up costing you your friendship.

While the potential problems with this kind of relationship can seem intimidating, that doesn’t mean that you should consider it off limits.

Just make sure you take some time to think carefully about what you want out of the situation, then make sure it matches up with what your friend wants.

This kind of situation could be the right choice if you’re too busy to date, have just gotten out of a messy divorce, or simply aren’t into serious relationships. You just need to be a little bit careful.

Be willing to communicate, don’t let the other person treat you poorly, and make certain that you understand the limits of the relationship.

These simple rules could be the key to making your friends with benefits arrangement work out well.

The Bad Boy Image: What Makes It so Appealing?

One of the most common themes found in women’s dating preferences is the appeal of the bad boy image. A lot of women seem to end up going after aggressive men who don’t necessarily have their best interests in mind.

From the point of view of other women and men who are actively working to be nice guys, this choice can be baffling.

If you’re in the second group, one possibility is that you’re trying too hard to be nice. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make a point of respecting women’s choices and being polite.

It does mean that trying too hard to please can come off as wishy-washy, weak, insincere or boring, however.

bad boy image

Many women find themselves stuck with bad boys and jerks because these men know who they are and are willing to take the lead. You don’t have to turn into one of these guys to improve your dating success, however.

Here are a few tips to help you avoid coming across as a meek, mousy type.

DO be willing to take charge – No one likes being run over by someone who thinks they have all the answers, but if you end up acting indecisive or overly accommodating, you won’t get any points.

Many women feel like they have to be in charge all the time, so being able to turn it over to someone else for a while is a relief.

If you decide to ask someone out, make sure you have a pre-planned idea, such as drinks or a movie at a specific time and date.

That makes the decision simple and easier on both of you.

DO voice disagreements – If you’ve ever talked to someone who did nothing but agree with you, then you know how annoying this can be. Don’t make a point of starting arguments or talk over your date, of course, but be willing to voice your opinion when you have one.

Remember, women aren’t on a date just to hear themselves talk, no matter what stereotypes might say.

If you don’t happen to agree on something, be polite about it, but don’t be afraid to speak up.

DO have a sense of humor – Many men are terrified of accidentally offending women. They try hard to compliment them at every possible point.

Unfortunately, it’s easy for this kind of behavior to come off as artificial and meaningless. Don’t be too serious; you can even joke with and tease your date a little.

Don’t make fun of her or harp on negative traits, of course; you wouldn’t like it if she spent the whole time talking about your weight or thinning hair (if these of course, were personal traits).

Do be willing to make a few jokes and diffuse that first-date tension without worrying about giving offense.

If you exude confidence, it’s a turn-on for everyone.

DO talk about your interests – No one should ever spend the whole date talking about themselves, but doing nothing but focusing on your date can also feel unpleasant.

If your date ends up feeling like she’s running an interrogation just to find out more about you, you may be doing it wrong. Remember that a conversation is a two-way street.

Include relevant details about you, your life and the things you’re interested in to help move it along.


DON’T turn your dates into elaborate occasions – There’s a mistaken idea out there that a date needs to really be impressive in order to make a good impression.

Nothing could be farther from the truth, however. Big, elaborate dates can actually be intimidating or unpleasant, especially if you plan one for the first or second time you get together.

Consider having a casual coffee date or something else simple. This lets you both stick to something within your budget, gives you space to get to know one another, and avoids the implication that your date owes you.

DON’T give too many compliments – When you want to impress someone, it can be really easy to spend the whole time complimenting them. This is especially common for guys who want to win over a woman they’re seeing for the first time.

Unfortunately, constant complimenting can seem fake, even if you mean it. Save your compliments for the times they really matter, and don’t make them all about her appearance.

Women usually like to feel beautiful, but they don’t like to be considered just another pretty face.

DON’T take things too fast – If you’ve had a great time together, there’s a good chance that you’ll want to go out again. Asking to go out the next day can be a real mistake, however.

Remember that you don’t want to come across as obsessive or look like a stalker. Overwhelming someone else with attention, even honest, heart-felt positive attention, will usually make them feel like you’re trying to take over.

At the beginning of a new relationship, take things slow. See each other about once a week, then let things grow at their own pace.

If you want to have more success on your dates, there’s no need to cultivate a bad boy image, just be yourself, show some backbone and put yourself in your date’s shoes. Okay, you know I don’t mean you should wear women’s shoes, right?!



Dating Advice – 5 Reasons Why He Hasn’t Called You Back

If you’ve recently been out to dinner or a movie and haven’t gotten a call back from your special someone, there’s a good chance you’re looking for some dating advice.

After all, it can be hard to tell what went wrong, or even if anything went wrong at all. Before you start worrying and cutting yourself down, take a hard look at what happened.

A thorough mental review will help you figure out whether your date simply wasn’t worth spending time with, or if you made a few of the most common first date mistakes.

Dating Advice - Why he hasn't called you back

Mistake #1: You focus too much on talking, but not enough on listening.

It’s a fact: most people like to talk about themselves. Whether it’s simply sharing, a way to show others how much fun you can be, or even a tic that crops up when you’re nervous, this habit can quickly cross the line on a first date.

Everyone wants their date to notice them, so it can be irritating or even hurtful to find out that your date likes to talk, but hates to listen. Remember that not everyone is outgoing or prone to talk about all the little details.

If you notice that your date hasn’t said anything in a while, it’s time to ask a question. Even if all you do is ask for an opinion on the wine list, you’re making a point of noticing the other person.

Do try to keep the questions specific, though. If your date is shy or taciturn, asking a blanket question such as “What should I know about you?” is a quick route to silence.

You’ll always do better if you ask about specific hobbies, activities or preferences and if you take the time to remember the things your date said earlier in the evening.

Mistake #2: You tend to bring up the past.

Even if your last relationship went sour or your connection with your family is a bad one, those aren’t topics for first date conversation.

Bringing up painful or controversial topics without making sure your date is ready for that type of intimacy is a quick way to make the other person feel like a counselor, not a prospective romantic partner.

There’s a good chance that your date is interested in hearing about these things, just not right away. Negativity and extreme emotion early on in a relationship can be alarming.

After all, if you’ve just met someone and you’re already talking about how much you hate your last boyfriend, it’s all too easy for your date to imagine you using the same words to talk about them.

That doesn’t mean you can’t mention this kind of subject, especially if your date asks. Just take some time to think about your tone, and avoid jumping right in.

Mistake #3: You’re falling in love too quickly, and you show it.

It’s pretty common to get excited when you’re going on a date with someone you think might be the one. In the throes of a crush, you might even start daydreaming about what your life together could be like.

This kind of behavior can be bad news for a first, or even a second and third date, however. That’s because getting overwhelmed by your emotions can make you look obsessive and even dangerous.

Make sure you take a step back if you feel like you’re falling into this line of thinking. If you put too much investment into you’re date, you’re setting yourself up for an unpleasant experience if anything goes wrong, and something almost certainly will.

Even if you’re deeply in love already, take some time out, calm down, and treat your date like a normal person, not a prospective marriage partner.

Mistake #4: You stick to controversial topics.

Politics, religion and other serious topics can be difficult on a first date. While you shouldn’t feel as though you’re not allowed to mention them at all, you should remember that these are subjects on which most people have some pretty strong feelings.

That means that launching into a political or economic diatribe with someone you’ve only just met can make them feel overwhelmed, especially if the other person doesn’t strictly agree with you.

Don’t make your date feel like you’re starting a fight or as though you demand agreement. Stick to lighter subjects if possible, and feel the other person out before you bring up something serious.

Mistake #5: You treat every date like a test.

The dating process should be one that’s fun and enjoyable. Getting to know someone new can be really exciting.

Unfortunately, if you have serious hopes for your relationship, it can be easy to turn a game of “get to know you” into “20 questions.”

That makes the date feel more like a courtroom trial than an enjoyable experience.

Even if you’re dying to know whether or not your date wants kids someday, it’s good dating advice to be patient and find that information out later.

 

Don’t Ruin your New Relationship! 5 Tips to Help You Get Off to a Great Start

If you’re entering a new relationship, you’re probably at least a teeny bit worried about how well things will go in the long run.

Starting out right can provide the kind of solid foundation you need to build something that’ll last. A bad start might result in failure later on, however.

new relationship

Here’s a look at a few things you can do to ensure that your relationship gets off to a good start.

1. Don’t overdo it – If you’ve just started off with someone new, you’re probably tempted to spend all your time with them. After all, you enjoy one another’s company, and new relationships have that special, intoxicating spark that just makes you want more. Unfortunately, giving in to this urge could lead to trouble later on.

By spending a lot of time together, you neglect your other friends and risk forgetting about other things that make you happy. Once the “magic” wears off a little, this type of closeness could also cause one or both of you to feel suffocated. Make a point of maintaining a little distance and living the rest of your life.

2. Take it slow – That new relationship energy can also make you feel in a hurry to be physically and emotionally intimate. This might not be the right choice, forever. By slowing down and holding off on becoming intimate, you help prolong the excitement. You also prevent yourself from making unwise decisions.

After all, most people have a lot of emotional baggage associated with sex and intimacy.

Just because you’re excited about your new special someone doesn’t mean you’re ready to address all that together. Wait until your relationship is emotionally stronger to have sex and you’ll be able to enjoy yourselves a lot more.

3. Make a date – You may not feel like it’s very romantic to schedule dates with your significant other, but it’s a smart strategy. By dedicating even one night a week to one another, you ensure that your time together won’t be taken over by work, social events and other distracting occurrences. That’ll keep both partners from feeling left out.

4. Avoid overplanning – Even if you find yourself wondering whether you’d like to spend your life with your new person, don’t bring it up right away. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to commitment, and starting out too strong might intimidate your partner.

While it may be a good idea to make sure you want the same things long-term, it’s not time to propose or talk about the future too much.

5. Focus on communication– It’s easy to feel as though your partner knows you inside and out and can anticipate everything you think, but the truth is often very different. Poor communication is one of the biggest relationship killers in existence. Don’t be tempted to expect your partner to read your mind.

If you have a concern, bring it up. You may be surprised by what a little communication can do for a new relationship.