Divorce can be an enormous shock, making it hard to pick up the pieces and move on. Starting to date again may feel strange or even intimidating, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to do it again. Let’s look at how you can prepare for the dating world, find new people, and enjoy the process of dating after divorce.
Establishing Your Identity
If you’ve considered yourself to be part of a couple for many years, you may not have a strong individual identity anymore. This can make it difficult to feel like you know who you are right after the divorce. Taking some time to find yourself again and establish a new identity will make you feel more confident and help you look for the right person when you start dating. Here are some tips.
- Don’t hold onto the past – If you’re still suffering from the emotional impact of your divorce, you may not be able to move forward with someone else. You must work through these feelings, whether it’s on your own, with friends, or through the help of a counselor, if you want to have a rewarding dating experience.
- Revisit old interests – Many people lose track of their old hobbies and interests during marriage. Taking up your hold interests can help you rediscover things about yourself that you may not remember. It’ll also help you meet people who have things in common with you.
- Explore new interests – You don’t have to stop with the things that used to interest you, of course. You can also check out new interests that you didn’t have time for during your marriage. Consider taking up kayaking, learning a new art form, or involving yourself in volunteer work.
- Learn to be alone – After you’ve lived with someone for a few years, it may be hard to cope with being by yourself. Take a little time to learn to enjoy your own company.
- Practice good self-care – Many people stop taking the best care of themselves during a marriage, especially if the relationship is going poorly. Learn to care for your mind, body and emotions properly and you’ll feel much more confident and healthy.
- Cultivate a good self-image – If you don’t feel like you deserve a good relationship or you have bad self esteem, you may not attract the right person for you. Remind yourself of your good qualities and avoid dwelling on the areas that need work before starting on the dating after divorce process.
- Connect with old friends – Many marriages discourage strong friendships. If you’ve lost track of some of your old friends, now’s the time to get in touch!
- Find new friendships – When you’re single, you don’t have to worry about whether your spouse approves of your social life. Take the opportunity to meet some new people and develop a thriving social support system.
- Explore new careers – A troubled marriage can encourage you not to take advantage of all the career opportunities that present themselves. Whether you feel unsatisfied in your current job or you’ve been staying at home, consider examining your career situation.
When you take the time to re-establish your identity before you start dating after divorce, you help yourself and your potential dates. After all, it’s easier to make a strong connection with someone new when you know who you are.
Here’s a funny video to lighten things up: