It’s a fact: no man is born knowing how to attract women. Even the guys who make it seem as natural as breathing have actually spent at least a little time learning to understand how the opposite sex thinks and feels.

They know what women do and don’t want in a partner, and the answers might surprise you. That’s because they’re so simple they seem like they should be obvious.

Things You Don’t Need

The secret to attracting women isn’t a fancy car, a big income, a face like the latest Hollywood heart throb, or even a special trick. It’s not something you get from taking a special class or learning manipulative tricks.

It’s something much simpler: listening to what individual women want instead of lumping them all in together, treating them with genuine respect, and paying attention to the impression you make.

That might seem overly simplistic, but it’s really all that’s required. Here’s how it plays out in everyday life:

Tips for Attracting Women

• Personal care– Popular culture says that a guy shouldn’t care too much about how he looks, but the truth is a little more complicated. While most women don’t enjoy the company of men who are obsessed about their appearance, they do like it when you put in a little effort.You don’t have to feel overdressed, but you should make a point of being clean, well-groomed and dressed in clothes that are in good condition. Remember where you are, too; jeans and a T-shirt make a bad impression at a fancy restaurant, no matter how comfortable you feel.
• Desperation – One thing is true whether you’re a man or a woman. No one likes desperation in a date. Even if it’s been a long time since you’ve had a girlfriend or you feel like your date is the one for you, keep a lid on it for now. It’s too easy to let your excitement turn into uncomfortable clinginess that can make your date uncomfortable. Everyone’s a little insecure, but it’s a good idea to keep your insecurity under control to make a good impression.
• Confidence – A confident person who’s sure of himself is a big turn-on for most women. That doesn’t mean you have to be domineering or pushy, and you certainly shouldn’t brag or seem arrogant. Just think about the things you do well and your good characteristics. It’ll help you exude a natural confidence that doesn’t seem fake or overbearing.
• Public impressions – Pay attention to your behavior and the way other people see you, especially if you’re on a date. Even if you’re nervous, keep your drinking moderate and your conversation at a reasonable level. Don’t spend all your time talking about yourself. If you feel like you might be too shy or nervous to talk normally, spend a little time practicing on your own until you can get it right. Enlist the help of a female friend or relative to let you know if you’re sending out the wrong signals.

Making It Easier

All these tips are pretty general, which can make it hard to know whether you’re doing things correctly. Fortunately, there are a few extra tricks you can use to make the whole process much less intimidating. There’s no formula for the perfect date, but doing these things might help.

• Make her laugh – While your date might not be prepared to go out with the class clown, she will enjoy being around someone who’s fun and relaxing to spend time with. You don’t need to prepare a list of jokes or focus on teasing her, but don’t be too formal, either. Remember, laughter is the basis for some of the longest-lasting relationships. Just pay attention to the jokes you tell; if they insult a particular group, it might not be the right time.
• Get used to a range of social situations – Practicing on your own is a great choice, but it might not prepare you for everything. Get out and spend some time interacting with people in the park or on the street to get used to talking to many different kinds of people. It’ll help you become more comfortable and reduce the risk of seeming fake or insecure.
• Recognize boundaries – If you’re having a great time with a truly beautiful woman, you might want to see her again right away. This can be a very bad idea, however, especially if it’s a first date. Turn the situation around and look at how you’d feel if a woman you just met suddenly wanted to be around you all the time. You might want to put your date on a pedestal, but for now it’s a good idea to relax, stay casual, and recognize that she may not be ready for something serious.
• Mind your body language – The way you move sends signals. They’re usually unconscious, but you can control them and change the impression you give. Keeping your shoulders back and your head up looks more confident and friendly than walking with a slouch. Watch how you interact with your date, too; uninvited touching or taking up too much space often comes off as pushy, no matter how you mean it.
• Be yourself – A lot of people think that showing interest in another person means suppressing their own interests, but this could make you seem boring. Be willing to talk about what you love. It’ll make you feel more relaxed and increase the chance of a good impression. Even if your interests aren’t normally considered fascinating, there’s always someone out there who shares them.

Figuring out how to attract women isn’t a big secret. You just have to stop seeing them as interchangeable or mysterious and start seeing them as people.

Focus on confidence and a genuine impression and you may find yourself having many more successful dates.