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First Date Advice – Dos and Don’ts

First dates make everyone nervous. Even if you’ve been on plenty of dates, there’s a good chance that you’ll feel shy and awkward the first time you go out with someone new. It’s easy to make off-putting mistakes on a first date, but they can easily be avoided. Here are some first date advice tips that will help you start things off on the right foot.

first date advice


  • Do be punctual. Showing up late to a first date makes a bad impression and implies that you don’t really care. If you’re extremely late, you might even discover that your date didn’t bother to wait for you.
  • Do create a comfortable atmosphere. Everyone, even the person you’re meeting, will be a little bit anxious about the first date. Work to make your date comfortable and you may find that your comfort levels rises, too.
  • Do be entertaining. You don’t have to put on a show, but don’t be completely passive, either. Be willing to contribute to the conversation or even take the lead, but don’t spend the whole evening talking about nothing. If you have trouble thinking up topics, come up with a few before the date so that nervousness doesn’t leave you with a blank slate.
  • Do laugh at your date’s jokes. They may not be very funny. They may be ones you’ve heard again and again. Unless they’re offensive, however, you’ll help your date feel appreciated if you’re willing to laugh a little.
  • Do take an interest. If your date is talking, don’t just wait for your turn: actively listen. Show your interest by asking questions and responding to specific things your date says.
  • Do be creative. Remember, you don’t have to do dinner and a movie unless you’re both interested in those activities. Be willing to think outside the box for a more memorable experience.
  • Do stay confident. A date who has solid self image is someone who’s attractive and interesting. Even if you have to fake it a little, confidence can help you get through things a little more easily.
  • Do be real. While you might not feel like you’re interesting enough to appeal to your date, it’ll be obvious if you’re pretending to be someone you aren’t. If you really want to date this person in the future, let your true self shine through.
  • Do skip the personal questions. Most people don’t want to reveal too much on the first date. Let your date volunteer anything sensitive.
  • Do take precautions. Men and women can both be in danger when they meet a new person. Make sure you have a way home after the date, bring a cell phone, and make sure your friends know where you’ll be, when to expect you back, and who your date is with.


  • Don’t make a bad impression. If you’re late, sloppily dressed, or not quite with it when you arrive for your date, the other person may believe that he or she doesn’t matter to you.
  • Don’t just talk about yourself. Even if your date finds you interesting, he or she would probably like to talk about other topics.
  • Don’t talk about previous relationships. While your date may be curious about your history, discussing your exes can make you look bitter or obsessed.
  • Don’t let silence take over. It can be hard to maintain lively conversation on a first date. After all, you don’t know much about one another yet. Practice for the date to make sure that your conversation doesn’t fall into silence too often.
  • Don’t show bad table manners. Your date doesn’t want to see your chew with your mouth open or put your elbows on the table.
  • Don’t just play along. While you may want to fit in and accommodate your date, no one enjoys talking to someone who isn’t genuine. Don’t pretend you like music or movies you really dislike. Diplomatically voice your opinion when appropriate to show you have your own views.
  • Don’t be ungrateful. Thanking your date for a good time lets you both feel good. It also gives you a way out or the opportunity to ask your date out on another occasion.
  • Don’t pick up that phone. It’s rude to take non-emergency phone calls or constantly check your messages while you’re on your date. This shows disrespect and may also make your date think you are bored or disinterested. If you MUST take the call, make it  quick and inform the caller that you are busy and will call back later.
  • Don’t invade your date’s personal space. Until you know each other better, keep a buffer zone when you talk.  Getting too close in a person’s face too soon can make them feel uncomfortable and even threatened.
  • Don’t be pushy about sex. Everyone has different comfort levels about sex, and everyone has the right to say no. Being pushy proves you’re not worth your date’s time.
  • Don’t get sloshed. It’s easy to think that drinking will help you be less nervous, but getting too tipsy increases the risk of various bad scenarios unfolding. If you have any alcohol while you’re out, keep your consumption moderate. It’s safer on many different levels and  will keep you out of trouble. That’s some first date advice that could save your life!

Dating Older Men – What You Can Expect

dating older menWhile relationships with age differences can be complicated, younger women dating older men are the most likely to be socially accepted.

That’s because this type of relationship has a lot of historical basis and people are used to seeing this kind of pairing more often.

That doesn’t mean it can’t be tricky, however; it’s important to pay attention to your expectations for this type of relationship and make sure they line up with reality.

Here’s a look at why some women date older men, plus a little bit of what to expect.

Common Reasons to Date Older Men

One of the most common reasons that younger women give for getting into relationships with older men is that they feel an older partner is more emotionally mature.

Women like to feel they can confide in a man and comfortably talk about any subject or issue.

Since many men under the age of 30, and older, are happy to spend their free time doing things like playing video games, maturity is a real concern.

Some women also date older men because they view their partner as a guide, mentor or father figure. This kind of relationship can work very well if the older partner is willing to provide the benefit of his life experience.

Some older men enjoy the feelings of power and competence they gain when a partner looks up to them, making this kind of relationship beneficial to both parties.

Again, however, it’s important not to make assumptions; not every younger woman is looking for a father figure and not every man wants to be one, especially if his children are already out of the house.

Both partners can go a long way toward making the relationship work if they’re willing to talk about their expectations first.

Sensuality in a May-December Relationship

Sex between younger women and older men can be very satisfying for both partners, but it may take a little negotiation.

Women who are used to dating partners their own age may be surprised by their new husband or partner’s lower sex drive, while older men may need to get used to dating a less-experienced person.

That doesn’t mean dating with an age gap needs to involve stress in the bedroom, however. Many older men have more experience and are more attentive and skilled than their younger counterparts, while younger women may be more adventurous.

If both partners are willing to be patient, they can enjoy extremely fulfilling sensual activities.

Perceptions of Stability

Older male partners are much more likely to be settled than their younger counterparts. Most have already found an appropriate career, have a stable income, and have developed a solid self-image.

This can be an advantage for a younger woman who knows what she wants out of life and isn’t willing to wait for a partner who wants to experiment. Some men still suddenly change their mind at a late age, however, so the individual is what counts.

Chivalry and Gender Roles

Many women pursue older men because they believe these partners are more chivalrous and more likely to have old-fashioned values. This is true for a lot of men, but some women may be surprised to discover their partner has more modern ideas.

Women who are looking for responsible, independent men who will treat them like ladies can often find this in an older partner.

By thinking about more than just age, women who are considering dating older men can find their perfect someone.

How to Write an Online Dating Profile

Your online dating profile is your opportunity to make a positive first impression with prospective dates. If it’s well put together, you’re likely to get a lot of action! On the other hand, if it’s not well thought out, you could be passed over in favor of more appealing profiles.

Here’s a look at the best way to write your profile, plus a few pitfalls to avoid.

online dating profile

Basic Information

  • Your user name is important – Remember that most people will judge you based on the name you use on your profile. Avoid using anything that sounds childish, raunchy or otherwise objectionable, as it will imply that you are objectionable, too.
  • Choose an appropriate headline – Your dating profile headline is just as important as the headline on a newspaper article; it tells readers what to expect. Keep your headline short, to the point and informative. Consider writing your profile first, then adding a fun, inviting headline that sums you up.
  • Focus on the first lines – Fiction writers are often encouraged to include a “hook” in the first paragraph. That hook is a sentence or set of sentences that entices the reader and makes them want to know more. The same thing should happen with your profile. You’ll either keep a prospective date’s attention or lose it in the first few lines of your profile, so make sure your introduction to yourself is appealing.
  • Keep it simple – It can be tempting to ramble on in your profile, but this will bore or annoy many potential dates. Offer up about 250 words to describe yourself. You can talk about the rest on your first date.
  • Good grammar is vital – It might seem like spelling and grammar aren’t too important in a casual forum like a dating site. A badly-spelled or worded profile can turn a lot of people off, however. Check your grammar and spelling before you submit to make a better impression.
  • Don’t forget the conclusion – You might remember how important conclusions are for writing an essay. The same thing applies to your online profile. The last sentence should be one that will stick in a reader’s memory and encourage him or her to get in touch with you.

Presentation Tips

  • Appear fun and confident – These two personality features are among the biggest turn-ons for most people. Try for a light-hearted tone if you want to appeal to prospective mates.
  • Be realistic and willing to adapt – Make sure that your expectations for a date are reasonable. You aren’t entitled to get responses only from people under a certain weight or age, and insisting on a particular income threshold or body type can be offensive. It’s not unreasonable to say that you prefer to avoid smokers or would like to date people of the same religion, but you should avoid excluding people unless it’s absolutely necessary. If you do put limits on who can contact you, be polite about it.
  • Show your adventurous side – While it’s never a good idea to make things up, it’s wise to avoid looking dull. If you love to travel and have recently been on a fun trip, consider posting a few anonymous photos of your vacation or mentioning your most recent destinations.
  • Communicate your goals – Whether you’re looking for a long-term, committed relationship or just some short-term fun, make sure that these goals are clear. Nothing is more frustrating than meeting someone exciting, then discovering they don’t share your relationship preferences.
  • Talk about what’s important to you – Make sure your profile is personalized and helps you stand out from the crowd. Discuss what you feel is important, whether it’s your dedication to a political cause or your relationship with your family.

Approaches to Avoid

  • Negative and exclusionary language are off-putting – Even if there are certain people you don’t want to date, it’s a good idea to phrase it positively. Talk about your ideal person, using language like “athletic” or “active,” instead of saying “no fat girls.” Negative language makes you seem like a negative person.
  • Avoid bragging – You may be proud of your accomplishments, but focusing on them exclusively won’t impress potential dates. Humbleness is far more attractive.
  • Never make things up – Some people think it’s okay to lie if it attracts a potential date, but there’s a good chance your stories will be found out. Deceptive practices never make for good relationships.

Picking a Photo

  • Offer more than one picture – The purpose of photographs on a dating profile is to show potential dates what you look like on a daily basis. Using multiple photos, including at least one full-body image, is the best way to do this. That way, there will be no unpleasant surprises for anyone.
  • Choose recent images – A photo that’s several years old is a bad choice, even if it’s your most flattering one. Choose the most recent pictures you have available. If you do use an older picture, make sure you mention that fact in the caption.
  • Watch your expression – You’ll be a lot more appealing if you smile. Use positive images for your online dating profile. If you look like you’re enjoying yourself, potential dates will know that you’re fun to be around.

With these basic tips, you’ll be able to put together the ideal profile to attract new people. It doesn’t have to be a difficult or intimidating process. Simply taking the time to make sure your online dating profile is attractive and well-organized can help you stand out from the crowd.

How to Get Over a Break Up

Are you wondering how to get over a breakup? If so, you’re not alone.

Not every relationship is a success, and most people have experienced a breakup at some point in their lives. While being abandoned by a partner is a heartbreaking experience, deciding that you have to leave a relationship isn’t much easier.

If you feel pressured to “bounce back” and begin dating again, remind yourself that breakups can cause very real psychological distress. While the support of friends and family can help you ease the pain, it’s still important to take time for yourself, especially if you lost a long-term relationship or a marriage.

How to get over a breakup

By getting some distance and perspective from the relationship, you’ll eventually find things become a little easier, giving you the opportunity to look for love again.

Here are some good guidelines to help you through your transition:

  • Don’t try to get back together with your ex. If you broke up, there was a reason for it, and trying to date again without correcting the problem will only lead to disaster.
  • Be careful if you decide to maintain a friendship with your ex. This works in some cases, but in most, the pain is too much. You could find yourself being tempted to get back together or getting in constant fights. If you do want to be friends, take some time off to let all your feelings cool off.
  • You may not keep all the friends you shared together. This is especially true if the breakup is a tumultuous one. Some people will feel compelled to choose a side and may stop associating with you.
  • Avoid clinging to the past. Remove any old reminders of the relationship that you don’t need for day to day living. You can keep a few if you still have fond memories of your time together, but make sure you put them away where you won’t see them for a few months. This will help you avoid rubbing salt in old wounds.
  • Be willing to rely on others. Your best friends and closest family members provide a valuable support system that can help you through difficult times. Pay attention and make sure you don’t wear any one person out, but do willing to be talk about how you feel.
  • Understand that loss is temporary. Even if you’re getting out of a long-term, committed relationship, the breakup doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. You have the chance to find someone special again in the future. Remember that it’s never too late to find your perfect mate.
  • Retain your sense of confidence and self worth. Just because you’ve lost a relationship doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthwhile. Be the best person you can and remind yourself that your relationships don’t define you. If you were involved with the other person for a long time, this may require a period of self-discovery, but you’ll feel much better afterward.
  • Don’t play the blame game. If your partner was the one who dissolved the relationship, you aren’t to blame. Accept responsibility for any wrongdoing you engaged in, but don’t allow yourself or your ex to make you feel guilty. Don’t get caught up in blaming your ex, either; most breakups happen because two people just aren’t compatible.
  • Remember that your ex’s behavior doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you. Partners who are unfaithful are usually doing it because of their own problems, not because of their partner’s behavior or skill in bed. If your ex misbehaved in the relationship, that doesn’t reflect your worth as a human being.
  • Be willing to learn from the relationship you lost. Once you have the ability to be objective, think about what went wrong and what could have been done to avoid it. This includes making decisions about who you will date in the future. Your breakup may help you discover behaviors and personality traits you can’t or won’t co-exist with.
  • Avoid starting a new relationship shortly after your breakup. While it’s a good idea to be willing to socialize, dating right away usually results in rebounding, which can be a mistake and even more damaging.

Overall, while time will heal the wounds caused by your divorce or breakup, working to take care of yourself will help it happen faster. If you’ve been wondering how to get over a breakup, just take things one day at a time. Eventually, you’ll become stronger, happier and feel like yourself again.

What Men Want in a Woman – The Answers May Surprise You!

Most straight women spend at least a little time wondering if they measure up to what men want. They wonder if they need to be thinner, more voluptuous, more outgoing, or more exciting. It can be easy to feel like you aren’t good enough to attract a date.

The truth, however, is that what many women think guys want doesn’t have a lot to do with the preferences of actual men. They’re after more than just looks, despite what movies and television imply, and they have some strong opinions on a woman’s personality. Here’s a look at a few of the most common male preferences.

what men want in a women


While most women assume that men are primarily interested in the way they look, the majority of guys report that while looks are a factor, they’re not as important as the media suggests. Men also tend to prefer more “average” looking women as long-term partners, even if they like to look at models and actresses.

When surveyed, men said that average-sized, natural breasts were better than obviously artificial ones, that casual clothing was more attractive than runway style, and that a woman’s eyes where usually her best feature. The best makeup was the kind that was barely there, not an overdone evening style.


A woman’s personality was a lot more important in men’s judgment than many people think. Guys said that they like a woman who is intelligent, creative, capable of grasping new concepts, and interested in challenging her mate. They also liked women who were emotionally strong and who had a good idea of who they are.

Poor self-image, an excessive focus on personal appearance, insecurity and extreme aggressiveness were all considered turn-offs, however. Honesty, integrity and a willingness to consider a partner’s needs were non-negotiable for many men.


Most men aren’t looking for a submissive housewife, either. They want someone who’s capable of taking care of herself without needing financial support from someone else. While some men do feel a little intimidated if their female partners make more money than they do, the majority are supportive of women who have their own lives, interests and careers.


When asked what men want in a woman, many men talk about sex and sexuality, but the things they say might surprise a lot of women. Guys tend to want a woman who’s comfortable with her sexuality, passionate and willing to experiment a little in the bedroom.

Women who feel ashamed of sex, who are extremely uncomfortable with their bodies, or who fake their enjoyment to seem more exciting are much less popular with men. Women should also avoid treating sex as an exchange for gifts or attention, as well as believing that men only think about one thing. Most men are more complex than this and resent being treated as though they’re simplistic people.

People all over the world think they know what men want, but surprisingly few of them really understand the needs of the average guy. When it comes down to it, while many men like to look at lingerie models and think that actresses are beautiful, they’d rather get involved with someone more average who has an appealing personality, a high level of personal comfort, strong values and a life of her own. What men want in a woman is surprisingly easy to live up to.

Creative Date Ideas – Make a Great First Impression!

While there’s nothing wrong with dinner and a movie, most seniors want a little more out of their first date experience. You and your date will enjoy yourself a lot more if you do something a little out of the ordinary. Just take some time to think about your mutual interests. Don’t be afraid to use your imagination! Here are just a few creative date ideas to impress a potential special someone without going over the top.

creative first date

  • Pack a Picnic – An old-fashioned picnic in the park on a sunny day can be a great, no-pressure way to get to know someone. Pack a lunch and choose an attractive location close to a lake, scenic view or other major landmark. To make the occasion extra-special, find out what your date’s favorite picnic meal is.
  • Cut a Rug – Dancing is a fun social event for almost everyone. If you both have some dancing expertise, consider attending a ballroom dance event. If you’re a little rusty, take a few classes together instead. For those who aren’t inspired by the waltz, there are square dancing, polka, contra dance and Celtic dance events – a little something for everyone.
  • A Walk in the Park – Long walks are one great choice for couples who enjoy being active. Potential first date ideas include a trip down the boardwalk, a stroll through your local park, or even a walking tour. Active couples who like a challenge might consider a hike in a local national forest among their creative date ideas.
  • The Joy of Shopping – Stereotypically, men dislike shopping while women love it. In real life, however, you’ll usually find that just about anyone can be excited about a shopping trip if it involves a personal interest. Consider visiting a local flea market, estate sale, auction or antique store. Make sure both people are interested in the same shopping opportunities and you’ll have plenty to talk about.
  • Out on the Water – Boating is a fun and relatively inexpensive way to get to know one another. Depending on your comfort level and experience, creative date ideas can include anything from a paddleboat on your local pond to kayaking or canoeing. Looking for adventure? Consider white water rafting with a group of friends.
  • A Jug of Wine and Thou – Unless you and your date are non-drinkers, you’ll probably enjoy a trip to a local vineyard or brewery. You’ll get the chance to find out how your favorite beverages are made, plus the opportunity to taste a few you may not have tried before. Most wineries and breweries offer samples as part of their tours. Get to know one another over a glass of wine.
  • Feeling Bookish? – Not everyone likes outgoing, adventurous first date ideas. For some, quieter activities provide the best place to get to know someone new. If you and your date fall into this category, think about attending a book fair or library sale. You’ll get to browse all your favorites, then discuss the books over coffee afterward.
  • Pick Your Own – Area farms may offer pick-your-own strawberries, apples, blueberries, cherries and much more. Head out together on a bright spring or summer day to collect a basket of rich fruit from a local grower. Then, enjoy your bounty under the shade of a nearby tree. It’s a fun way to get to know one other.

These aren’t the only creative date ideas out there, but they’ll give you a place to start. If you spend a little time thinking about you and your date’s favorite activities, you’re sure to come up with a whole list of fun first date ideas. Just remember – it’s important to keep you first date light, interesting and easy to enjoy.

Mature Dating and the Internet

Not everyone has access to great community resources. Mobility and travel may be an issue for you, or maybe you just live in a rural area where there’s not much going on. That doesn’t mean that mature dating isn’t an option for you. You’ll just need to take your search online.

Internet dating sites used to have some uncomfortable associations, but those days are over. Almost everyone, young or old, uses online search methods when they’re looking for a match. That’s because these sites can offer targeted databases of people who have things in common with you, eliminating the need to rule out incompatible mates.

Of course, not every dating site is the same. Most people looking for mature dating should avoid the big mainstream sites, which cater primarily to a younger demographic.

Consider checking out a dating site that’s targeted specifically toward people who are at least 40 or 50 (read: The Best Dating Sites for Seniors). This will help you find more compatible potential mates and avoid feeling lost in a crowd.

It might be tempting to jump into the online mature dating scene with both feet, but it’s important to exercise a little restraint. If you move too fast, you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed. You could also end up making some serious social mistakes.

Mature Dating and the Internet

Setting Up Your Online Profile
Your profile is the most important part of your online mature dating search. After all, it’s the face you show the world and acts as your first impression.

  • Start by picking out a creative username that’ll stand out from the crowd. Your name should be something that reflects your personality and feels comfortable, but it shouldn’t include your real name or any other identifying information.
  • Next, move on to the profile itself. Provide a short, sweet summary of yourself and your interests. Avoid rambling and empty phrases; even if you’re a talkative person in real life, the extra words can obscure your profile and make it hard for others to understand.
  •  Add a photo, but make sure it’s recent, accurate and of good quality. Even if your best pictures are a little older, it’s better to use an image that shows you as you really are. If you don’t have any photos on hand, consider asking a friend or family member to take a few digital snapshots for you. You can also use the webcams that come with many computers.

Online Interactions
Because you don’t have tone or body language in most online interactions, the way you write can really affect your success on mature dating sites. Consider writing a polite response to everyone who sends you a message, even if they don’t capture your interest. There’s almost never any harm in being friendly.

  • If you do find someone you’re interested in, keep your initial correspondence short and to the point.
  • Even if you’re looking for a long-term partner, it’s important not to let your conversations become intimate or personal too quickly.
  • If you seem like you’re in a rush, you could end up making that special someone feel smothered or otherwise uncomfortable.
  • It’s always important to proceed at a natural pace and avoid moving from dating to relationship too quickly.

You can have a great, fulfilling life after 50, including a vibrant and exciting mature dating experience. Just take a little time to think about all the opportunities for meeting new people that are available to you. With the power of social groups and the Internet, mature dating isn’t just possible; it can be amazing!

Best Dating Sites for Seniors

How To Be Attractive To The Opposite Sex

It’s easy to think that being attractive is just about the physical. On a day to day basis, however, attractiveness is all about personality. By paying attention to who you are, how you present yourself, and how you treat other people, you can learn how to be attractive to the opposite sex. Here are some great tips that can improve your attractiveness to the opposite sex.

how to be attractive


  • Smile more often – A natural smile helps your face look its best. It’s also contagious; everyone else will start smiling, too. If you’re trying to seem welcoming, think of something that makes you genuinely happy. The resulting smile gives potential dates the impression that you’re confident, happy and friendly. Whether you smile with your lips open or closed, you’ll seem more attractive.
  • Honesty is the best policy – It can be tempting to tell a fib or two to make yourself seem more impressive and exciting. Lies can be hard to keep track of, however, and they’ll eventually be found out. Be truthful and you’ll encourage other people to trust you more. An honest person is more attractive than the most exciting dishonest one.
  • Be genuine – Many people make the mistake of trying to pretend to be someone they’re not. Instead of impressing potential mates, this often puts them off. Work to be comfortable with who you are, not who you’d like to be or someone you think would be more appealing. Most people can tell when you’re faking it, and they won’t find that very attractive.
  • Pay attention to your grooming – If you’ve been alone for a while, it can be easy to let your personal care slide. While looking a little unkempt might not actually offend, it doesn’t make you very attractive, either. Choose clean clothes that are in good repair and that fit you well. Bathe regularly, and take a little time to care for your skin and hair while you’re doing so. You’ll give the impression that you respect yourself enough to look good, and that’s appealing to most people.
  • Be interested in others – When you meet someone new, make a point of showing interest in him or her. Be genuine about this interest, since most people can tell when they’re being patronized, even if they don’t show it. By taking interest in the other person’s opinions, you can start a much more engaging conversation than if you only talked about yourself.
  • Cultivate confidence – Everyone feels a little lost and confused sometimes, but it’s important not to let it take over. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits there is. If you’re capable of making your own decisions, expressing your opinions clearly, and being yourself without too much worry about what other people think, you’ll be a much more desirable person.
  • Stay active – The modern world encourages a sedentary lifestyle that can take its toll on your body and your mind. If you want to be attractive to others, get moving. This won’t just help your physique; it’ll also help you feel better and be happier, both traits that are well-known to increase attraction. Exercise is a great option for people who feel depressed or stuck in a rut; the natural chemicals it releases will help you get moving again.
  • Be positive – You don’t have to put a good face on every bad thing that happens to you, but no one likes a completely negative person. Try to be as positive as possible in every situation. You’ll seem like someone who is in control of their life and who is willing to make things happen.
  • Learn to flirt – Flirting can be a lot of fun, but it takes a little bit of skill. Spend a little time watching other people or thinking about the things that you find most appealing. You’ll soon learn when to make eye contact, when touching is appropriate, and how to have a playful conversation that doesn’t become overbearing or offensive. Flirting is one of the best ways of letting a potential date know that you’re really interested.
  • Be selective – Flirtation can be fun, but you shouldn’t overdo it. Most people will decide that you’re unreliable if you flirt with everyone in the room. Take some time to consider your prospects and focus your efforts on only one person at a time. Even if you’re not flirting seriously, the individual effort will be more flattering.
  • Stay cool – Even if your moods sometimes run away with you, it’s a good idea to keep your cool whenever possible. People who overreact to every small problem are often seen as bad matches. Take a deep breath and deal with every situation as calmly as you can. If necessary, go somewhere private for a little while until you can deal with a problem rationally. Being able to do this makes you look much more capable and mature.
  • Keep promises – If you agree to meet someone at a specific time and place, make sure you hold up your end of the bargain. If you know you can’t avoid being late, call in advance to let your date know. Keeping promises lets other people know that you respect them and consider their time to be important.
  • Have a sense of humor – Extreme seriousness is often considered unattractive. This doesn’t mean you have to turn into a stand-up comedian, laugh at everyone’s jokes, or keep quiet when a “joke” is really offensive. It does mean learning to loosen up and appreciate humor a little more.
  • Avoid dwelling on the past – It’s easy to get caught up in your past problems, especially if you’re just getting out of a bad spell. From the outside, it looks like you’re obsessing, however. It can even seem rude. Keep track of how frequently you mention your exes or other elements from your past, and make sure your new date knows that you’re looking forward to a great future.
  • Prioritize personality – Too many people make the mistake of insisting that their dates must meet specific standards of physical attractiveness. By insisting on a supermodel, however, you’re making yourself look shallow and unappealing. Physical attraction may seem important early on, but in the long run, interests, hobbies, talents and other personality features are a lot more important.
  • Be open to fun – You’ll seem a lot more attractive if you’re a fun person to be around. That doesn’t mean you have to be the life of the party, but it is worthwhile to learn to make casual conversation and find the best in any situation. You can still enjoy yourself while being responsible and mature.
  • Offer compliments carefully – It’s usually clear if you’re complimenting someone just to flatter, or if you’re using a compliment because you feel desperate. Saying something nice is wonderful, but make sure it’s specific and genuine. When the person you’re interested in receives a genuine comment, he or she will find you much more attractive.
  • Know your emotions – Bottling everything up is just as bad as letting your feelings carry you away. Make sure you spend some time thinking about your emotions so you know what you want and are able to express it. This is especially important if you find yourself feeling jealous. This emotion can make you feel anxious and controlling, all without cause. By understanding your jealousy, you can avoid letting it take over.
  • Communicate clearly – Bad communication destroys many relationships before they start. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or just short-term companionship, make sure you and your date are on the same page. Never assume that other people view dating the same way you do. You may have a few awkward conversations, but your ability to talk about things clearly will make you much more attractive.
  • Dress appropriately – Whether you’re first meeting someone or you’re out on a date together, the way you’re dressed will make an impression. Take some time to think about where you’ll be and what feels appropriate; no one looks good in blue jeans at a formal restaurant. Be objective about your looks, too. Even if you’re not happy about the sizes, choose clothes that fit you well and flatter your body. Wearing extremely tight outfits or something sloppy will make you much less attractive than a coordinated set of clothes that suits you.
  • Take things slow – Getting into a relationship with someone new can leave you feeling starry-eyed with excitement. It’s easy to jump into things too quickly when you’re being led by your heart, but this can leave your date feeling overwhelmed and threatened. Take a deep breath and let the relationship proceed at its own pace. Don’t be tempted to let things get physical too soon or start planning your future together before the second date is over.

Some of these tips apply to everyone, but they’re a special concern for men dating women. Here are some things you should pay attention to:

  • Respect the boundaries of others – When you’re first getting to know someone, it’s easy to get very excited. You may even want to be with that person every hour of the day. This can quickly make you seem both unattractive and dangerous, however. Show your interest with a little restraint and respect the other person’s physical and emotional boundaries.
  • Be considerate – It can be easy to get carried away by your idea of the perfect date, by what you want out of a situation, or by what you think should happen. Paying attention to how the other person thinks and feels is vital, however. Make sure that you stop and consider the other person on every date.
  • Don’t focus solely on sex – Unless you’re both interested in a short-term hook-up, focusing on sex is a mistake. If you’re just trying to flatter someone in order to take them to bed, you’ll seem dishonest and creepy. Don’t make sexual comments unless they’ve already been invited, and if you touch someone who seems uncomfortable, back off right away.
  •  Avoid sexism – There are a lot of stereotypes about how men and women should act, and it’s easy to fall into them. Expecting your prospective partner to fit into a particular gendered mold or regarding them as less capable doesn’t just make you look unattractive, though. It also hurts others and encourages even more sexism. Examine your assumptions and treat others with respect, regardless of gender.
  • Don’t assume obligations – There’s a tired old trope that says a woman owes a man something if he pays for the date. This idea isn’t just sexist; buying into it can also make you seem creepy or obsessed with just one thing. If you’re not comfortable paying for the date without putting obligations on your partner, ask to split the bill.

Like the tips for guys, these aren’t things that apply only to women, but they come up more often for girls. Here are some factors to consider:

  • Accept compliments gracefully – Many people feel the need to brush off comments by insulting themselves, but this can be very unattractive. Even if you feel like you don’t deserve the compliment, smile and say “thank you.” Putting yourself down ends up putting down the person who complimented you, too. Accepting the compliment gracefully is a way of showing respect.
  •  Be assertive – For many introverts, meeting new people is extremely difficult. If your natural inclination is to stay at the back and avoid eye contact, you may not seem very attractive. In fact, prospective mates are likely to assume that you’re not interested. While you don’t have to change your personality to become more attractive, it is smart to work on your assertiveness. Try meeting other people’s eyes and smiling. Learn to make small talk, and whenever possible, don’t stick to the back of the crowd. Be willing to make the first move. Remember – even if you experience rejection, it’s usually a lot less painful than feeling alone.
  •  Don’t expect him to pay – The idea that men should pay for everything is an old-fashioned that dates from when female workers made about a quarter to half of what men did. Since you probably control your own bank account, don’t assume your date will pay for everything. There’s nothing wrong with accepting if he offers, but come prepared to pay your own way, and don’t let him assume you owe him anything.
  •  Avoid vanity – While taking care of yourself and choosing clothes carefully are important, going overboard can make you look self-absorbed. Don’t spend all your time checking your hair, fussing with your clothes, or re-doing your look. You’re out to pay attention to other people, after all!

You don’t have to put all these tips into action at once, of course. Just work on a few things at a time. The next time you’re at a party or having a night out with friends, pay attention to how you look, behave and present yourself. By taking these first steps, you’ll find that you’re well on your way to learning how to be attractive to the opposite sex.

Using Body Language To Be More Attractive

Via: Best Dating Sites

Meeting Your Date’s Adult Children

One of the most stressful situations many people experience in the mature dating scene is the prospect of meeting a date’s adult children. Talking to an older teen or a college-age child can be a lot more difficult than dealing with even the most recalcitrant grade-schooler, in part because adult children have a lot more background knowledge. They have a better understanding of what dating means and are more likely to see you as a “replacement” for their absent parent.

This problem doesn’t get much better if your date’s kids are in their 20s and 30s; they have to deal with you both as adults and as their parent’s children. The good news is that there are a few ways to make this process a little more comfortable, both for you and for your date’s adult children.

meeting your date's adult children

  1. Think about your expectations – If your mental image of meeting your date’s children looks something like “The Brady Bunch,” you may need to reconsider. In real life, no one gets a perfectly loving family instantly, especially when there are exes and other relatives involved. Remember that the goal isn’t to be welcomed right away; if you’re being tolerated and can get along civilly in the beginning, you’re doing well.
  2. Approach with care – It’s easy to assume that since your date’s children are technically adults, you can treat them like a friend, co-worker or other grown-up. This assumption leaves out that fact that everyone is still a child at heart, however. When it comes to a parent, every adult is still a kid inside, and there’s a good chance that even a 30 year old child will feel as though you represent a threat or disloyalty on the part of his or her parent. If the kids seem less than accepting, it may be worth asking your date to talk to them about how he or she feels about the absent parent.
  3. Pay attention to tone – There’s a strong impulse to be friendly with your date’s adult children, but it can be hard to maintain the balance between honest enthusiasm and condescension. If you make a very strong effort to be friends, you may seem desperate. Remember that you’re competing for the attention of one parent and potentially replacing another. Don’t be surprised if your date’s adult children don’t feel interested in including you in their day-to-day lives.
  4. Work to be accepted – You may be surprised by the fact that it’s harder for adult children to deal with their parents’ dating lives than it is for younger kids. These children intellectually understand the dating process, but they may not be emotionally comfortable with it. They also have no reason to involve you in their lives. It’s important to give them a reason to accept you outside of your involvement with their parent, such as a genuine mutual interest, as well as to avoid creating reasons for rejection.
  5. Don’t try to parent – Even resistant younger kids will accept you as an authority after a few years of family involvement, but the same isn’t true for older children. An adult has no need to grant you status as a parent. This is true even if you and his parent get married and move in together. Avoid sharing advice, giving orders or engaging in other parenting behaviors unless specifically invited. Try to avoid referring to yourself as “mom” or “dad,” and never say anything unkind about the absent parent, no matter how true you believe it to be. Doing so just leads to setting yourself up as an adversary.
  6. Avoid blame and guilt – There’s a good chance that adult children will never fully accept you, no matter how carefully you behave. If you feel like you aren’t going to “click” with your date’s adult children, don’t blame yourself. It’s possible that your date and his or her kids don’t have the kind of relationship that would make accepting you possible. If things seem a little rough at first, be patient, take it easy, and don’t let yourself think that you’re the sole source of the problem.

Meeting a date’s adult children can be difficult, especially if you’re planning on a long-term relationship with their parent. If you take your time, have realistic expectations, and understand where they’re coming from, however, it can be significantly less painful. In fact, having a good relationship with adult children can even be a gratifying part of the mature dating experience. It’s all in how you approach the situation.

How to Overcome First Date Anxiety

Your first date can be a real source of anxiety, especially if you’re just getting back into the dating scene. It can be hard to know how to behave and what kind of activity you should choose. Fortunately, if you remember a few basic tips, it’s not difficut to have a successful, enjoyable first date that leads to many more. Here are some things to keep in mind if you have dating anxiety.


  • Remember why you’re there. It’s easy to forget that the first date is a way to find out about one another and to determine whether you want a second date. The best first dates are the kind that let you get to know one another. That means that movies and shows where you sit passively in the dark don’t work as well as trips to a book fair, picnics in the park, or other more conversational activities.
  • Find out what you have in common. When your first date involves an activity or hobby that you and your potential partner both share, you know you’ll have something to talk about. These dates offer you the chance to make a connection right away. That’s something more generic dates can’t provide.
  • Don’t be afraid of groups. If spending a lot of time alone with someone you don’t know well seems intimidating, consider joining a group activity like a tour, wine tasting, or club outing. This allows you to interact without feeling pressured.
  • Keep meals casual. While dinner and a movie may be the stereotypical first date, it often ends up encouraging more intimacy than some people feel comfortable with. If you’d like to have a meal during your first date together, consider having lunch or just sharing a cup of coffee. Combine the date with another activity, such as sightseeing, that gives you something talk about and prevents uncomfortable silences across the table.
  • Stay in public. Many first dates involves near-strangers. This can leave individuals feeling uncomfortable and even unsafe if you take your date somewhere very private. Keep your activities public until you know one another a little better. Have a friend or relative give you a call after the date to ensure your safety.
  • Admit to feeling anxious. Almost everyone has a little dating anxiety. Letting your date know that you feel nervous isn’t an admission of weakness. There’s a good chance that he or she feels the same way!
  • Remember that it’s all about the journey. It’s easy to view dating as an exercise with a clear goal at the end. If you make this mistake, however, you could end up sabotaging your efforts to find a partner. Don’t assume that a single date will make or break your relationship prospects.
  • Avoid high expectations. Everyone wants to have a good time on their first date, but expecting the experience to be perfect can contribute to dating anxiety. Even if you’re not sure things went well, consider a second date or be willing to move on to another potential partner. Never let one date decide things permanently.

Overcoming dating anxiety can be tough, but it’s worth it in the long run. Use your first date to learn more about your potential partner and don’t forget to enjoy yourself. Even if you feel a little worried, things will usually work out for the best.